He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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