Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
