Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
PANTIES FOUND
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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