I like to think it a success when the cops are called
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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