alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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