even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
