Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize