Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
