The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
