i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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