you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
