i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
