I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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