Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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