Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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