I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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