she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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