I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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