im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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