smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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