Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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