I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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