i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
