Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
