I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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