the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
