Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
