did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
