Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
