My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
