Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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