Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
