There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
