all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
