I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
