Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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