Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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