I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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