does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize