Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
