mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
