i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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