You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
