North Korea, Best Korea!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
