so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
