is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
