I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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