you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
