when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
