Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
