When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
