Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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