I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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