You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
