Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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