he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
