Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
