Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
