you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
